There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Someone shattered a urinal.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Your cock deserves a montage
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
