I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize