Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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