Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
