My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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