I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
