omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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