I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
This house was built for laser tag.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
