try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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