i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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