I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
