get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
