Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
There r osticjed everywhere
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
