this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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