You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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