Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
