so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize