just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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