Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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