He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
