Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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