this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
My cat gives me a boner
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
