end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
