at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize