So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize