We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize