There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
