I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
