end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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