Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
