you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
