I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize
