You're so nebulous sometimes
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
