She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
