my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
