Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
