I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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