after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
