Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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