wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
