wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
