I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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