Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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