i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i dont even know how to be here
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
