you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
