If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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