and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
