Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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