I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
