I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
