SEEEEXXX PLEASE
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
