I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
