she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
