I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
