I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
