The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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