Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
