I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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