You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
