i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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