Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
birth control should be required to get into college
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
True strength comes from lack of pants
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
