Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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