Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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