dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
