apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
