can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
