After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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