But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize