Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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