I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
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