Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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