At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
