is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
