i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
