We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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