I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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