Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
