thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
