she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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